Struggling today

I’m just having a hard day, it’s been a crazy month, and I’m tired of a lot of things, not being home, not having privacy, worrying about money, worrying about Kevin, just not having my comfort zone.

So we’ve been hoping to go home any minute, but we realized last night that the water heaters need fixed and replaced (one of each) and we’re not going home without hot water and the phones internet and gas turned back on.  Cold showers in late June and July, no biggy, not being able to sterilize dishes, not going to happen, not with Kevin’s health.  More than half of our square footage is torn up from 2 feet down.  We can put up plastic or a baby gate and keep people upstairs, but the playroom is also torn up, leaving the bedrooms (which are full of none-damaged stuff) living room and kitchen (full of damaged stuff) intact, leaving one couch cushion free.  We have a storage pod in the driveway, but it’s pretty much full.  I want to go through and find new places for things, but I don’t dare move things until we start moving through the money part.  Our insurance guy is (or was) out on bereavement, so there’s been no progress on our stuff in days.

I miss my home.  Miss my dishes, my pantry and food, my washing machine, my theater and movie collection, my own bed, the kids having all of their own toys, my nice dishwasher that doesn’t fall forward every time I pull out the bottom rack (called the front desk twice about that one), my own bathroom (that seriously needs some updating TLC, but will have to be on the back burner for now), and even my sad dry (thankfully!) and weedy yard.  I don’t want to bring more than I have to to the hotel because I won’t use it much, it’ll be in the way, AND I don’t want to haul anything more than I have to home when we’re done here, but it sure would be nice to have my crock-pot, more of the random food in the pantry, all of my make-up and hair care products, more shoes etc.

I just need to complain for a little bit.  I am grateful for our hotel room.  We have a 2 bedroom (2 kings and a sleeper sofa), 2 bathroom place that’s 750 sqft and has a full kitchen including dishwasher, full size fridge, stove and oven.  I often slip and call it an apartment.  We get 10 free meals a week, and have great staff and a pool.  We got a great deal on our room too, probably because we booked for at least three weeks, which we hit this Friday, sadly it’s beginning to look like we’re going to have to exceed that….  I’m grateful for a good van that I like to drive.  I’m grateful that Kevin is doing alright despite all this stress.  I worry about him.  I’m grateful for great family.  MIL and FIL took the kids Saturday night and gave us a much needed date night.  We really enjoyed some quality time together.