Joys of the Internet

OK, I don’t think of my self as all that trendy or cutting edge.  I’m a geeks wife, but I’m not pushing any boundaries, I’m just taking this information or technology highway at my own pace.  After all I didn’t start my own real blog until just this last December.  By then most bloggers I knew had been doing it for quite some time…

I had a myspace a few years ago when it was the big new thing, but then deleted it when there was a lot of hubbub about it being against my church but it just turned out to be specific counsel given by area authorities, mostly towards younger kids that may have gotten in too deep.  Plus there was a bit of yucky advertising.  I signed back up about a year ago with a private account, and have just kept it with closer friends, I actually rarely sign on anymore.

About two months ago, after hearing for at least a year how great, and much cleaner facebook is, I signed up for that too.  Again, it’s a simple way to reconnect with lost friends, and network.  I can’t say how many of my friends there are people that I’ve wondered about through the years, and was thrilled to find them there, Amy, Wendy, and Katie to name a few.  My social network there has grown immensely, but other than posting occasionally about people’s pictures I don’t feel like there’s been a lot of connection there other than just knowing that people are out there and I can contact them specifically when I’d like.

I sometimes have a hard time realizing that others are “behind me” in this internet and computers thing, and that others don’t check their email once a day or even once a week.

I know I’m online more than most, with my photo business, and digital photo obsession it’s my job to be on the computer. And when my eyes start to glaze over and I can’t tell if things are blurry and orange hued or if I’ve just been staring at pictures too long, instead of getting up and completely loosing my train of thought (which I do anyways as a Mother) I browse the web.

I was thrilled to see the cover story in this months Ensign.  Sharing the Gospel Using the Internet. Click here to read it.  OK, most of my internet world is within the LDS community, or people who are well aware of LDS culture and live within it respectfully despite being of different thinking, but I was thrilled to see that “the old Brethren” are aware of this tool more than what they may hear from their children and grandchildren.

I wonder sometimes if they think of the internet of a place for addicts to find more, and weak minds to loose the last of their control, and darkness to set in.  It’s good to know that all mature people in the church that aren’t as involved as many from my generation, understand that there is SO MUCH GOOD HERE.

As a Mom with very active, sometimes impossible children to watch over and keep in check outside of my home (and many times IN my home, but at least at home I don’t have people who don’t know the whole story watching in horror or wondering why I even go into public, making me feel more frustrated and upset) it’s often easier to just stay at home.  This does terrible things for my social life, but I have my internet friends.  Sadly but wonderfully at the same time my internet friends, Kate, Kim, Brittany, Jenni, Lisa, Thora, Bethany, Kathy, Lynnette, Jenn, Rae, Ash, Amy, Marie, Sara, Heidi, and I could go on all day, are closer and have lent far more support (and I like to think I’ve lent my support at times) than the girls I’ve met in real life at church or wherever I may be.  These girls aren’t new to the church, but they do help me renew my faith and remember who I am and who I want to be on a regular basis.

Maybe that means that in reality I’m not outgoing, that I’m impersonal and unapproachable, but maybe that has a little to do with hollering as I hold one child and watch another attempt something risky, or I’m running after a child headed for the street or trying to get lost behind the next corner, frantically trying to find someone who’s disapeared, or if I refuse to let go of some fingers so that I don’t have to worry for my baby, I’m fighting being pulled over by a small boy who just doesn’t understand yet.

That part of motherhood has been almost unbearable for me.  And though I adore my boys till the end of time, I get frustrated and can hardly wait until we’re onto a different stage.  Many people who haven’t met my boys in real life or been in charge of them for more than a few minutes don’t understand that EVERY minute with my boys is this way.  REALLY when my kids aren’t strapped down to a stroller this is my life…  Honestly Michael is mostly out of that stage and I’m grateful for it, but I worry that Joey will be the same.

It’s nice to be home, in the environment where my boys are more relaxed, and I can be too, and sit in front of the computer, knowing there’s someone somewhere else looking at her screen and connecting with me as a mother and friend.

So, I guess all I really want to say is I love my girls!  Thanks for being there for me, and letting me be a part of your life.  I’m very grateful for this part of my life, and just glad that I have something MUCH better to do with my “free, [but still gotta meet the needs of the kids] time,” than sitting watching trashy soaps.